Tuesday, 5 April 2011


Progressive metal. Sounds pretentious, right? You're damn right it's pretentious.

That doesn't have to be a bad thing, though. I mean, if you're pretentious and a bit rubbish - I'm thinking of all those terrible warbling Scandinavian symphonic metal abortions here - then fair enough, you do just look like a bunch of twats. But if you're pretentious and fucking amazing...

Tool compose complex songs that are too long for regular radio play, or even for specialist music channels; and even then, their videos are often considered too disturbing for music television. They are fiercely private, and are therefore very rarely - if ever - featured in the music press. They've been going for over 20 years, and in that time have only released four full-length records. And despite all of this, they are one of the most successful alternative music acts on the planet.

Which can only be because they are completely unbelievably fucking amazing.

I'd like to go on to describe how they redefine this and that, and sculpt musical landscapes, and transcend stuff and things... but that would just end up sounding pretentious. And since I am also a bit rubbish, that will just make me look like a bunch of twats.

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