This year, the greatest bands in the world ever aren't...

Dammit.

It's happened again.

Just like last year, twelve months have gone by and yet I have only 48 posts (including this one) to show for it. Which, for a blog that is by definition supposed to be updated weekly, just ain't right. I've lost nearly a month.

Again.

Last year I attempted to make up for the shortfall with a half-arsed best-of-the-year round up, but I don't really want to do that again. Partly because it's a bit too predictable, mainly because I don't want to have to trawl back through the last year(ish) of posts. It's bad enough writing this crap, I don't want to have to read it too.

So instead, I'm going to present five tracks by bands that will never be the greatest band in any world, any week ever. Because they're rubbish.

But these songs are awesome.

I'm not even going to attempt to justify my choices here.

Wiley - Wearing my Rolex

Jan Hammer - Theme to Miami Vice

Mason vs. Princess Superstar - Perfect (Exceeder)

Ameri - 1 Thing

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round

Amplifier

Saw them live last week, and now can't get enough of their space-prog riff domination.

The thing about the word "prog" is that it rather conjures up images of hour long flute epics based around hobbits, or something. And that's really not what Mancunian three piece Amplifier are all about.

However, their most recent release is a two hour epic cosmic guitar epic based around a space-faring, dark matter trading cephalopod, or something.

Which does sound kind of prog.

Consequently, it can be a bit difficult to explain to people just how damn good this band is. And all the other stock phrases - driving rhythms, wall of sound, sweeping epic guitars, soaring vocals - just make them sound a bit like the band U2 think they are.

And Amplifier aren't anywhere near that shit, I swear.

Website: http://www.amplifiertheband.com/

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/amplifiertheband

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amplifier_(band)

Napalm Death

I'll admit, there have been times when I have questioned why I need more than one Napalm Death record on my shelf. I mean, it's not like they all sound identical; but they do all achieve much the same thing. They reduce your skull to fucking ash. Which is nice.

But that's not the point. The point is, I saw these guys play last week and they were awesome. After a somewhat slightly stressful week at work, the brain flush effect of having every conscious thought eradicated by getting smashed about by like minded thugs whilst savage Brummie death grind comes blasting out of the speakers at around a bazillion dB was really just the ticket.

I don't care that it mostly all sounds the same. I don't care that, like the Sugababes, Napalm Death is band that contains none of its original founder members. I don't care that Napalm Death are, much like myself, old enough to know better.

Napalm Death rule.

Website: http://www.napalmdeath.org/

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/napalmdeath

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napalm_Death

Johnny Foreigner

The Pixie made the observation that this is exactly the kind of jangly guitar alt-pop that I hate.

She is of course quite correct. But my favourite band changes on a more-or-less weekly basis; I am nothing if not contrary.

My music periodical of choice has been championing these Brummie scamps for years; and when their latest record received a typically gushing review, and the song featured on the cover CD was typically outstanding and addictive and demanding of repeated spins, I found myself with no answer to the question "why haven't you bought any of this brilliant stuff yet, you miserable git?" And maybe it is simply a testament to the infectious quality of their too-much-sweets-and-sugary-drinks shambolic indie rock that even a cynical old wretch like me can't help smiling and joining in with all the doo-doo-doo-doo-dee-doo's.

Website: http://johnnyforeignertheband.com/

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/johnnyforeigner

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Foreigner