This year, the greatest bands in the world ever were...

A cursory glance at the side bar to the right reveals that, at the time of writing, there have been 47 posts this year. As anyone who is as keen a fan of basic mathematics and the Gregorian calender as I am will be aware, this means that I've missed out five greatest bands in the world ever this year. I have been neglectful.

But I will make amends.

Question is, how to make up the difference?

An obvious solution would be to turn the concept on its head and propose five of the shittest bands in the world ever; but that would be mean. I could try and go for the mammoth post of five greatest bands in the world ever, but that would be quite a lot to take in and in truth I think I'm just too damn lazy for that.

So, in classic everyone-else-is-doing-it-so-why-don't-I fashion, I think I'll take the opportunity to do one of those tediously predictable end-of-year reviews, thus allowing me to substitute any substantial amount of new writing new crap with hyperlinks to all my old crap. Smashing. So here, in no particular order, are the greatest bands in the world ever this year. And... go.

Echobelly

In part their place here is reflective of the hold that all girl-fronted-indie-bands-of-the-90's had on me for pretty much the entire month of August; but also because they were the most pleasant surprise of the lot, and the band that most had me kicking myself for not checking them out properly when they were a going concern. Like all good records, theirs just get better with each spin.

http://asifanyonegivesafuckwhatithink.blogspot.com/2010/09/echobelly.html

Deftones

These guys nearly made the list twice this year. Every time they release a new record, it's the best thing ever; I play it to death for a week, put it down for a while and eventually get back to it after a year or so. Except that I still haven't quite put Diamond Eyes down yet...

http://asifanyonegivesafuckwhatithink.blogspot.com/2010/03/deftones.html

Enablers

As far as I know, there isn't another band in the world that sounds like them; and seeing them play live earlier this year was just an awesome experience. Definitively my all time favourite doom-poet outfit.

http://asifanyonegivesafuckwhatithink.blogspot.com/2010/05/enablers.html

And So I Watch You From Afar

I'll be the first to admit that I listen to a lot of shit, and that as much as I love it, that shit's not for everyone. So I don't mind if none my friends like Sunn o))), for example. Not everyone enjoys the sub-bass droning sound of souls being crushed. With hammers.

But ASIWYFA... they're just too damn good. And the only reason for not liking them is because you don't like good things, and you are a force of evil, and you must be stopped. With hammers.

http://asifanyonegivesafuckwhatithink.blogspot.com/2010/04/and-so-i-watch-you-from-afar.html

These Arms Are Snakes

It's been almost a year, and frankly I'm still reeling from their decision to split. I was fortunate enough to see them play once a few years ago; sadly the most enduring memory of that gig is frontman Steve Snere taking his hand out of the front of his pants and wiping a finger down my face.

I struggle to adequately explain just how great they are/were; so I won't bother. You'll just have to take my word for it.

http://asifanyonegivesafuckwhatithink.blogspot.com/2010/01/these-arms-are-snakes.html

Knut

Switzerland is renowned for many things; delicious confectionery, fancy timepieces, tricksy pocket knives, secret bank accounts, a heart full of neutrality. Not so well known for progressive mathcore.

Which is a shame, because that's exactly what Knut do. The mathcore bit, not any of the other stuff.

Earlier records were very mathcore - at times sounding like a hardcore band in a metallic drum clattering down some steps. Third album Terraformer saw them get a bit more groove on; all the insane timing changes, atomic drum fills and fretboard gymnastics were still present, but measured out with more thick slabs of dense riffing and atmospheric electronica, with vocals taking more of a back seat - almost a third of the record was completely instrumental. It was like Knut had become masters of their rage, controlling rather than being controlled by it.

Fuck cuckoo clocks. This is the best thing to ever come out of Switzerland.

Closely followed by Toblerones.

Website: http://www.hydrahead.com/knut/

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/unknut

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knut_(band)

Rinoa

I saw these chaps play a few weeks ago. It was the final show of their UK tour and, as it turns out, their final show ever - apparently "certain factors meant the band couldn't continue as it was."

Damn.

Opening for them on their UK tour was While She Sleeps, a trend-licking bumsqueak of derivative hardcore wrapped around a predictable sequence of breakdowns. I guess they played well, but it wasn't really my thing; and all it really served to do was make Rinoa's sweeping post-metal seem all the more majestic in comparison. But then, maybe that's the point of support acts...

Post-metal. Like post-rock, but more, y'know, metal. The show started with all the band members hugging each other farewell, before everything was consumed by huge waves of guitar noise, pounding drums and desperate screams. And then less than an hour later, it was all done.

Website: nope

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/rinoauk

Wikipedia: nope

Die! Chihuahua Die!

Just who the hell are these guys? Are they a force of good? Evil? A force of nature? Is their name German for "The Chihuahua The"? No-one who speaks German could be evil...

I like his sideburns.

D!CD! sound a bit like Every Time I Die; only instead of swaggering into a redneck bar with angry screaming hard-ons, they turn up drunk, throw up in the ashtray and start breaking furniture.

The only footage I can find on the Youtubes is crap. You need to find their record and listen to it. Now.

Website: http://diechihuahuadie.blogspot.com/

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/diechihuahuadie

Wikipedia: nope